What started out as a clever title for a Wednesday post is turning into a regular series where I pick out a few bite-sized pieces of imbecility from the past week and skewer them on a rhetorical stake.
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 1:
- Abysmal reporting on a shooting in Burnaby
- RCMP abuse of a questionable database
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 2:
- Ill-informed hysteria against the Large Hadron Collider (with dragons!)
- The continued failure of surveillance systems to prevent crime
- Senator Clinton’s self-indulgence
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 3:
- Surrey RCMP fear noises that sound like they might be shotguns
- “Cigarette control” works about as well as you’d expect
- Bureaucratic masturbation over CBC Radio Two
- Dubya gives up golf to honour vets’ sacrifices
- Bill O’Reilly completely loses his shit: dance remix
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 4:
- “Christian activists” mistake Starbucks mermaid for porn star
- Brits blame fat people for, well, everything
- British surveillance state expands ever further
- Airlines profit from government encroachment
- Pat Buchanan blames Poles for WWII, Holocaust
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 5:
- Pants-shitting hysteria over pocket-knife at YVR
- Brit “safety experts” axe 150-year-old tree
- Brit “safety experts” (different ones) demand lifeguards for inflatable kiddie pool
- Hippie-on-hippie shooting in Seattle
- Geraldine Ferraro does her level best to destroy the Democratic party
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 6:
- D.C. police do Gestapo impression
- Ontario and Quebec dominate Canadian politics; film at eleven
- Zimbabwe dollar falls off the bottom of logarithmic scale
- Transformers t-shirt seen as terrorism risk
- Footballer censured in Britain for not kowtowing to authority
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 7:
- Vancouver’s money-soaked transit system can’t afford more capacity
- Plods assault man for falling off of sofa
- Aussie kids incapable of high-school English classes
- Lysenko disciple in Britain dismisses science, history as “middle-class creations”
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 8:
- Texas GOP rep frightened of bare-breasted statuary
- House Democrats bend over on Iraq funding
- Barrie school board uses psychic sex detective
- PRC teaches children state-approved method of celebration
- Texas GOP vendor enthusiastically endorses “racist hick” stereotype
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 9:
- Lake Delton residents find that property doesn’t have to exist to be taxed
- Toronto mayor compares haunted firearms to toothpaste
- PRC bans liquids from swimming pools
- Brit cops compel DNA sample from man toting MP3 player
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 10:
- Canadian government second-guesses Canadian industry
- Liquor suspicions in Victoria trump Charter of Rights and Freedoms
- Glancing knowledge of cosmology considered racist in Dallas County
- It’s official: 110th Congress is the worst ever
- Iran imports American bull semen
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 11:
- Satire joins polar bears on endangered-species list
- Ontario Ministry of Agriculture needs more admin funding for health, safety cutbacks
- British cops must respond to emergencies within three hours
- Harry Reid shames his family once again
- Clintons averse to paying their own campaign debts
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 12:
- Georgia plays Austria-Hungary, South Ossetia plays Serbia, Russia plays… Russia
- No you can’t has property rights in California. Not yours.
- PETA jumps on the border fence bandwagon
- European Union indulges Big Brother fantasies
- Ann Coulter loses it (sigh… yes, again)
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 13:
- If you aren’t an Olympic swimmer, you probably shouldn’t eat like one
- Pickles molesting onions
- Balaclavas considered tools of terror
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 14:
- Bike lanes are killing Mother Gaea!!!11oneoneeleven
- Nancy Pelosi: 0, Science: 1
- Zimbabwe’s opposition politicians have big brass ones that go clickety-clack when they walk
- Essex family forced out of home by scawwy arachnid
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 15:
- Cops don’t abuse authority, Tasers abuse authority
- RCMP investigates itself, decides not to press charges
- Stalin wasn’t such a bad guy after all, Russian schools claim
- Mother kicked out of office for shutting baby up
- France surrenders
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 16:
- LHC goes live, fails to produce quantum dragons
- Tommy Atkins re-enlists in Surrey
- British MoD keeping its memory sticks secure by hiding them in nightclubs
- Canadian election tries its best to get interesting
- BC Liberals to skip work ’til February
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 17:
- Canadian arts industry makes $86B, but will die screaming without gov’t aid
- “Brainstorm”, “immigrant” declared offensive
- Texas: keeping you safe by turning off your fire hydrants
- Police told off for investigating crimes
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 18:
- Tax breaks on wooden toys persuade Senate to pass $700,000,000,000 bailout
- Plods confiscate, lose pensioner’s cane as “offensive weapon”
- Strine students suck
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 19:
- Dead German poet stubbornly refuses to pay for state services
- British gardener penalized for securing the plot he’s responsible for securing
- Maryland cops locally repeal First Amendment
- Surrey vice principal punishes rape victim, councilcritter welcomes him back after suspension
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 20:
- British council “group of people” bans Latin words
- Another British “Airstrip One” council bans word ‘British’
- Darwin magpie hunter charged after nearly removing self from gene pool
- Chavez pledges to protect Venezuelan people from democracy
- Starbucks profits fall as theft imperils bull semen supply
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 21:
- Brits don’t trust their coast guard with flares; matches next
- American Family Association markets burning-cross Christmas decoration
- Chavez uses domestic espionage programme for pathetic campaign ads
- Brit loses passwords to entire nation’s tax repository outside a pub
- Canadian gov’t develops body-composition metric even more useless than BMI
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 22:
- Carleton University Students’ Association decries cystic fibrosis as racist, sexist
- PA bus drivers’ union decries homicidal driver’s firing
- Plods underreport violent crime by 22%, have been doing so for “a long time”
- Ontario “plans” to make restraining orders less useless
- Ontario (again) to make symbolic budget cuts during actual downturn
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 23:
- Vancouver increases security at secure SkyTrain stations to appease grass-eaters
- Canadian do-not-call list really more of a number-farming ploy
- Pope complains that cell phones destroy spirituality, txts spiritual msgs to followers
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 24:
- Granny’s got a gun in Dorchester
- Aussie police may call in security guards to protect stations from arson
- Capitol Visitor Center late and over-budget above and beyond GAO’s pessimistic predictions
- Rangel shows would-be corrupt Congresscumbags how it’s done in the big leagues
- NHS sacrifices babies to treat seniors
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 25:
- Man threatened by police for clearing his neighbours’ driveways
- Caring People demonstrate their care by forcing thrift stores to stop selling kids’ clothes
- Australia to ban or tax cooking oil as too fatty
- Colour pink capable of mind control, Brit claims
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 26:
- “Universal” health care: you’re doing it wrong
- Getting drunk is illegal in Ontario
- Texas lawmaker vows to continue $6M steroid-testing programme after it determines that steroid use isn’t a problem
- California axes Medi-Cal benefits to free up funding for state Avocado Commission’s haute couture “uniforms” and private home renovations
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 27:
- A hopeful sign of change in the Oval Office
- Unregulated billboards would lead to porn everywhere: Clearwater municipal government
- Kiddie porn law sends kids to prison to protect them from themselves
- Eric Massa needs two SUVs and two fuel-cell cars to get from NY to DC; Felipe denies any relation and suggests KERS instead
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 28:
- Change you can believe in: get paid to do volunteer work
- Renaming streets drives away gangs, apparently
- Beware the menace of silent camera phones
- When body armour is banned, only criminals will have body armour
- B.C. plods issue tickets to ID theft victims, don’t bother checking ID unless you’re in a bar
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 29:
- TARP recipients can’t simply do as they please with our their money
- Pelosi: five-thirds of Americans will lose their jobs if stimulus doesn’t pass
- 38-year-old funding provision somehow makes stimulus bill “anti-Christian”
- Fitzgerald and football don’t mix, claim sportswriters
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 30:
- Ex-UN MechE tries to overrule the laws of thermodynamics
- If no-one can read your ID card, is it still a privacy violation?
- PRC clamps down on the bourgeois smut of Michelangelo, Titian
- Those who can neither do nor teach end up governing doers and teachers
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 31:
- Britain tries to print its way out of economic trouble
- Britons discover what happens when you try to print your way out of economic trouble
- NYT printing its way into economic trouble
- Snowflakes discover that effort does not equal achievement
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 32:
- Government “experts” turn out to be lobbyists; film at eleven
- Clearwater FL still can’t figure out the First Amendment
- NYU students fail dismally to start a revolution
- Biggest problem with No Child Left Behind? Its brand image, apparently
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 33:
- Targeted gang hits based on (allegedly) leaked Revenue Canada data
- Utah on alcohol: “If I can’t see it, it’s not there”
- Chavez stumbles over microeconomics, picks himself up and hurries off
- Obama to prevent rich people from paying their fair share… by choice, at least
- GM sales down 52.9%; industry pundits puzzled that they had any room to fall
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 34:
- Meat from stores doesn’t harm animals…?
- recovery.gov logo out-Lenins Lenin
- Brit teachers must be protected from the perils of chasing agile four-year-olds
- “16 arrested in fight at nonviolence concert”
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 35:
- B.C. Supreme Court ponders banning Goooooogle
- Clinton throws PRC human rights under the bus
- Kids’ games turn adults into pederasts
- Term “animal husbandry” confuses FL state senator, with predictable results
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 36:
- Earth Hour nonsense impedes environmental research
- California cracks down on blacks
- California takes Earth Hour nonsense even further
- Zimbabwe expresses confidence in U.S. dollar
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 37:
- HHS regulators taking notes from the SEC
- Saskatoon ER calls ambulance to treat patient found on hospital grounds
- Nanny state doesn’t trust firefighters to climb ladders
- WI state gov’t hates nuts as much as it hates fruits
- Some guns are wheel locks, but not all wheel locks are guns
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 38:
- WHO can’t decide whether swine flu is apocalyptic or innocuous
- Shiny piece of metal counts as “law enforcement ID” to TSA
- Aussies let 173 people die because sounding alarms might desensitize them
- Oxford librarians discover that nanny state + traditionalism = weaponized stupid
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 39:
- Woman detained by cop for obeying the law
- Great sex illegal in Great Britain
- MLAs rewarded for sucking; Bill Clinton unavailable for comment
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 40:
- Wally Oppal loses election he tried to rig
- GovGen snacks on raw seal heart
- CBC, TransLink shocked (shocked!) that folks who don’t value their widgets try to sell them
- “Auto bailout costs soar.” YA RLY.
- gc.ca bails out unions, not those paying for bailout
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 41:
- “$1,400,000 for every job saved”
- Ben Bernake needs to suck off a revolver
- “GMO foods banned as nation starves”
- Sand causes cancer, claims government
- Brits make parking “fairer” by manufacturing offences
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 42:
- PETA gives up on “sea-kitten” bullshit
- “You want me to work for eight hours?!“
- DC graciously allows Wall Street to repay loans forced upon them at gunpoint
- Gov’t bails out newspaper; gov’t exercises editorial control; lefties shocked and dismayed
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 43:
- Device designed to rend flesh declared “ineffective as a weapon”
- Paul Krugman responsible for housing bubble
- BC NDP figures out why it lost the election, months after voters told them why they lost the election
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 44:
- Hard-Left California town posts best argument yet for Vermont-style carry laws
- Cop hits woman with Taser mostly just because he felt like it
- Canuck BAWWWWWs to court; court forces Google to rescind privacy agreement
- Canada turns away European refugees: this is not a repeat of 1939
- Dissolve the CRTC!
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 45:
- o/~ Ding, dong, The Swimmer’s dead; the fat drunk lech is dead! o/~
- Cash for Clunkers: adios, motherfucker!
- Jesse Jackson Jr. fails ECON 101
- BC gov’t paves over protected wetland to protect the environment
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 46:
- Liberals push for fall electoral defeat
- Harper unclear on concept of “parliamentary government”
- Charlie Rangel, tax committee member, opts out of paying taxes
- Hybrids not so fuckin’ sustainable
- Teddy K. pwned by Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 47:
- My union is fucking retarded
- Thomas Friedman prefers “one-party democracy” to lack of contradiction; masturbation vs. sex next on list of editorial topics
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 48:
- Aussies turn away Asian refugees for their own good
- Obama extends USA PATRIOT Act provisions; 150,000,000 leftist heads fail to explode
- Obama educates me on health care reform
- Dubya signed TARP without understanding it in the slightest; is surprised by having done so
- Obama wants Jimmy Carter to die in a fire
- Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 49:
- CRA agents are thieving weasels. No, from the government this time.
- BC law enforcement realizes that investigating themselves lacks credibility
- Even after losing his job, Wally Oppal is still getting pwned
- Orly Taitz: 0; Google AdSense: 1
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