06
Apr
13

Maybe you shouldn’t ask me for advice

This doesn’t happen very often, because I’ve put all of my Social skill proficiencies into Creative Misanthropy, but every once in a while someone will mistake me for a helpful person.  (Mysteriously, this happens all the goddamn time with people asking me for directions.  Joke’s on them!)

Now, the reason this is a problem is that most people, when they ask for advice, are asking for validation — they’ll start out by hinting subtly (or otherwise) at what they want to hear, then expect me to tell them to do what they’ve already decided to do, with a little personalized twist that they can ignore but which lets them maintain the fiction that I’m not just parroting their own biases back at them.  This works out great in code reviews, because it’s usually bluntly honest: “So, I copy-pasted this code two different places… I should probably just make it a function.  Tell me to make it a function and I’ll do it, but it’s just enough of a pain in the ass that I haven’t done it yet.”  “Yeah, I think that’s worth making a function.”  “Okay, done.”  My colleagues are awesome that way.

Most everywhere else, the pattern breaks down.  If someone asks me for tips on losing fat, for example, they’ll probably hint that they really ought to spend more time walking their dog and should probably drink a bit less wine, and expect me to add in something safely iconoclastic like “try to avoid processed grains”.  Haha, nope!  When you ask me how to do something, my brain goes into Nerd Mode and you get a blithely honest answer based on my obsessive research into the topic and roughly tailored for what I think your situation might be, or maybe just what I’m excited about at the time.  I’m not going to tell you to walk your dog and cut back on the alcohol; I’m going to tell you to join a powerlifting gym and eat keto with a carb load one night a week.  And then you’re going to stammer out a half-dozen half-formed excuses and avoid me for the next week and a half.

So mission accomplished, I guess, but the part that boggles my mind is when you ask me the same question a month later and expect a different result.

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1 Response to “Maybe you shouldn’t ask me for advice”


  1. March 30, 2016 at 03:04

    Born and raised on Cork’s Northside, Vincent Lynch has forged a name for himself across
    many genres and musical platforms. From touring the UK
    and Ireland with The Tony Stevens Showband, playing all over Ireland with numerous Wedding & Corporate Bands, and now as a multi-genre writing machine currently signed
    to Universal Music Publishing Group Gmbh, Vincent Lynch really does cover all the bases.

    When his father bought him his first guitar aged 14, Vincent knew that
    it was going to be a love affair that would last a lifetime.
    Initially mimicking the riffs of his idols ‘Thin Lizzy’, Vincent developed a thirst to learn all he could about the guitar, and music theory.

    In 1995, Vincent was lucky enough to attend City of Leeds College of Music to study Jazz Guitar, and while there he
    did his thesis on that legendary exponent of jazz..

    Mr Django Reinhart. After Leeds, he returned home to
    Cork, now fully armed as an accredited teacher,
    he took out a franchise with ‘Guitar in a nutshell’
    providing graded teaching and examinations to students.

    Eager to explore his own abilities, Vincent started delving into
    original music in 2008, and everything suddenly changed direction.

    In 2012 he released his first commercial original recording ‘Shine A Light’ for the
    support group of the same name in Vincents hometown. With all proceeds of the
    release going directly to the charity.
    2013 saw another charity release, this time
    for TVG – ‘Traveller Visibility Group’ again in his hometown.
    The single was sung by Carlow traveller Selina O Leary.

    Now working with Producer Billy Farrell, Vincents new single is due to be
    release early 2017. It is eagerly anticipated within the music community and no doubt will be
    the best release so far from this proud talented Cork man.


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