Questions that should never need to be asked

In case you haven’t heard, it’s Corvette C7 Reveal Time over at Jalopnik, in which they gloat the fuck out of how their officially-denied leaked preview images look more or less exactly like the real thing.  Also, they title a story thus:

Guys, lemme sit you down for a second.

What part of Corvette do you not understand?

The ‘vette is America’s Supercar.  For many young buyers, that’s all you need, because supercar.  For the rest of them, it doesn’t matter what you do — they see a tiny trunk and no real back seat and a bigass V8 they “don’t need”, and then they go off and buy the Japanese (“they’re so reliable!”) crossover they were going to buy in the first place.

If the first group of young buyers aren’t picking up fresh-out-of-Bowling Green C6s (and, soon, C7s) right off the dealer’s lot, it’s not because the cars don’t have teh sexxy — it’s because they’re priced in the high five figures.  Young buyers who insist on a ‘vette are probably going to end up with a four-figure used C4 or an only slightly pricier used C5, because (spoiler warning) young buyers aren’t generally dripping in cash.

On the other hand, the article treats us to a link titled “carbon fiber sex dungeon“, so that’s pretty cool.


2 Responses to “Questions that should never need to be asked”

  1. January 14, 2013 at 12:02

    Ok, someone else specifically asked my thoughts, so it seems wasteful to not recycle them. See how green I am?

    My nipples are hard just thinking about it, but I don’t think they hit it out of the park as hard as they did the C5 (for its time). Glad they stuck with the manual instead of a flappy-paddle, but I’m a little wary of the cylinder deactivation. If there’s a manual setting for “No, don’t do that,” problem solved. Don’t care for the giant TV in the dash but otherwise the cockpit looks sharp. Only 450hp out of 6.2L is a *bit* anemic, but they don’t discuss torque so it could be perfectly cromulent. Didn’t see a price point, but didn’t follow any of the reference links either, just read the main article. I mean, I’m all kinds of busy not-blogging, do you think I’m made of time?

    My biggest objection is that it seems too angular for the stingray badge. Lemme put it this way: LabRat has a series of books parodying Star Trek, and in one of them they define the term “schwoopy.”

    “Think ’69 Corvettes and Bettie Page.”
    “Funny, I think I’ve got a picture of Bettie Page doing 69 in a Corvette.”
    “You get the meaning then.”

    That thing isn’t schwoopy. It looks good, but when I hear about a stingray, I expect some goddamn schwoop.

    • January 14, 2013 at 20:29

      The (deactivatable) auto-rev matching on the row-your-own is going to be interesting.

      The 6.2L LT1 V8 is apparently an amazing piece of mill, with a small but significant boost in (claimed) peak numbers over the LS3 and a bunch more grunt in the lower RPM range. Can’t wait to see what they put in the ZR1-alike.

      As for schwoopiness, I have to agree. See here for visual reference (late-model C3 vs. C6.R). The old ‘vettes had long, arched noses and rear-set cockpits. The new ones (since at least the C6 and probably the C5) have higher beltlines and a much more central layout. That probably gives them a bunch of mechanical and aerodynamic advantages, and I dig it from a form-follows-function aesthetic perspective, but it ain’t schwoopy.

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anarchocapitalist agitprop

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