26
Sep
12

Car porn: The ugly duckling turned into a swan edition

So, the Porsche Cayenne is a glorious abomination.  Abomination, because it’s a brand-engineered Touareg with a centre of mass about three times higher than any Porsche’s CG has any right to be.  Glorious, because it more or less saved the company from bankruptcy.  Cayennes are why we can have nice things like the Cayman S.

Because the 911’s engine is too damn far back

That’s been my basic opinion about the Panamera since the bloody thing was released.  Aside from a few Crying Game-like moments where I ogled the front end until I saw the second pair of doors, I’ve basically bought into the Porsche sedan as a necessary evil without which one cannot haz a 911 GT3 RS, not yours.

And today greets me with this.

Oh!  They made a wagon.  That’s pretty great, I mean I’m not sure I dig the high beltline but it’s about damn time we got a proper competitor to the CTS-V Wagon and–

Link goes to Know Your Meme, if you don’t

I’ll be in my bunk.

Advertisements

9 Responses to “Car porn: The ugly duckling turned into a swan edition”


  1. September 27, 2012 at 07:54

    So, I presume it’s for aero reasons, but damn if a hugely sloped rear glass on a wagon like that doesn’t cut into useful cargo space like whoa.

    Yes, I know, I’m sort of looking at this the wrong way, but, well, I’m a wagon fan.

    (I really really really want a Nissan Stagea. Skyline Wagon 4TW. Because making Saleen Mustangs cry with what looks like a grocery getter would be awesome.)

    • September 27, 2012 at 08:19

      Stagea, huh? You have good taste, sir. (Also, 4TW? I see what you did there, and I approve.)

      I’ve been looking around for a clean Outback for similar reasons. It’s basically a Legacy platform, so there are plenty of go-fast bits available, and the sleeper factor is far higher than it would be in a WRX or Lancer wagon.

      • October 1, 2012 at 08:06

        Heh, I do “4TW” instead of “FTW” because the latter is permanently set to expand into “Fuck The World” in my brain. But it does work especially well in this particular context.

        And yeah, I’ve contemplated upgrading my ’93 Legacy Wagon with the powertrain out of an Impreza WRX. For one thing, the ealier Legacies were much lighter. And also, no one would see it coming. :D

        • October 1, 2012 at 23:19

          Aww, c’mon… if you’re going to do an engine swap, why not go all the way and drop in an LS9 and the rest of a ZR1 drivetrain? (“Because money” is an acceptable answer, ofc.) Ditch those front driveshafts and you’d have plenty of space to unfuck the front axle kingpin inclination — not to mention a great excuse to slap on some big ol’ box flares and fat-ass tires at the rear. I’d love to see someone with actual fabrication skills make a Legacy look like a Group 2 Trans-Am car. You know you wanna. ;-)

          • October 3, 2012 at 13:22

            Yeah, but I really like AWD.

            Like, so much so that I keep contemplating putting a Nissan Skyline style drivetrain into, say, a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba. Because it would blow people’s minds. :D

            • October 3, 2012 at 22:11

              Well, okay then. Dozens of rally championships can’t be wrong.

              putting a Nissan Skyline style drivetrain into, say, a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba

              WIN.

              While we’re on the subject, though, how about dropping a WRX driveline into an X-body like a Citation? You’d probably have to build it like a tube-frame silhouette car, because I doubt you’ll ever find a throwaway X-body without the unibody rusted into oblivion, but it’d make a hilarious rallycross car.

              “You’re driving a what? Oh. Oh!

              • October 4, 2012 at 11:50

                Mopar Performance used to make a “kit” (much assembly and fabriction required) to convert G-body cars (Dodge Daytona, Plymouth Laser) to RWD for drag racing purposes.

                If I was going to go the sort of route you’re talking, I’d probably want something prettier than a Citation. ;)

  2. September 30, 2012 at 09:49

    “Hans, I zink I may have made mistake designing new porsche body!”
    “Ja, Franz?”
    “Vell, yu know zee usual vay?”
    “Ja, ctrl-C, ctrl-V.”
    “I found this ozer ting. It vas marked ‘stretch’.”
    “Gott in himmel!

  3. July 8, 2013 at 19:08

    I wish to express appreciation to the writer just for bailing
    me out of such a predicament. Because of browsing through the online world and obtaining tips which are not powerful,
    I figured my entire life was well over. Living without the presence of
    answers to the difficulties you have fixed
    as a result of your main blog post is a critical case, and the kind which could have negatively damaged
    my entire career if I had not noticed your web site.
    The understanding and kindness in handling a
    lot of stuff was very helpful. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I
    hadn’t come across such a step like this. It’s possible
    to at this time look forward to my future. Thanks so much for your
    skilled and sensible help. I will not think twice to refer your site to anybody who needs to have guidance on this area.


Leave a reply; use raw HTML for markup. Please blockquote quotations from the post or other comments.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


anarchocapitalist agitprop

Be advised

I say fuck a lot

Categories

Archives

Statistics FTW


%d bloggers like this: