23
Feb
11

A brilliant plan to unite a fractured nation

So it seems that Hank Steinbrenner doesn’t like Major League Baseball’s revenue-sharing scheme, which would redistribute about $130 million from Steinbrenner’s Yankees to minor-market teams across the country.

“At some point, if you don’t want to worry about teams in minor markets, don’t put teams in minor markets, or don’t leave teams in minor markets if they’re truly minor,” Steinbrenner said. “Socialism, communism, whatever you want to call it, is never the answer.”

Socialism in sports is never the answer.  Hmm….

You know, the man has a point.  What’s more, he may inadvertently have saved the union, torn apart by hyperpartisan bickering, by proposing a policy initiative that everyone can get behind.

Conservatives will love it, as it’ll eliminate massive government tampering in a major sector of the market.

Progressives will love it, as it’ll eliminate a grotesquely regressive transfer of enormous amounts of wealth to some of the richest and most pampered plutocrats in the nation.

Deficit hawks will love it, as it’ll directly address wavering state and municipal budgets and get the whole country involved in a serious discussion about the sorts of decisions that need to be made to knock down the deficit.

And every red-blooded American — people like Hank Steinbrenner — will surely love it, as I propose to rid America’s great pastime of the sinister spectre of dread Socialism.  What are we, Europeans?

It’s simple: we’re gonna stop public funding of professional sports, cold turkey, right now.  Then we’re gonna claw back all the public money that’s been spent in support of private sports franchises.  Let them stand or fall on their own merits in the creative destruction of the free market, that’s what I say.

Hank, we can start with your Yankees — the people of New York, a state whose own governor has called it “functionally bankrupt“, will cheer your stalwart character and admire the courage of your convictions when your franchise returns the $1.2 billion in taxpayer-funded subsidies it took to build Yankee Stadium.

I see no way in which this could possibly be controversial.

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