Dumbworms are a hell of a drug

So presumably the whole internet has heard about Amy Bishop by now, the University of Alabama bio prof who shot up a faculty meeting ’cause she was insecure about not getting tenure.  (Oddly enough, shooting your colleagues is against the law even in red-state Alabama.  I think we need stronger murder-control laws.)  As is usual with these things, every armchair psychologist and vest-pocket journalist on the internet is trying to figure out Why Such A Horrible Thing Happened.

Ambulatory dumbworm colony Laurel J. Sweet over at the Boston Herald has a hypothesis:

(Yes, that’s what passes for a headline at the Herald.)

As you might expect, it’s 1982 again and teh ebil gaem Dungeons and Dragons is to blame.  Lookey here:

Accused campus killer Amy Bishop was a devotee of Dungeons & Dragons – just like Michael “Mucko” McDermott, the lone gunman behind the devastating workplace killings at Edgewater Technology in Wakefield in 2000.

Bishop, now a University of Alabama professor, and her husband James Anderson met and fell in love in a Dungeons & Dragons club while biology students at Northeastern University in the early 1980s, and were heavily into the fantasy role-playing board game, a source told the Herald.

Oh, is that all it takes to be a trenchant and incisive analyst?  I can play the “just like” game too.  Let’s see which of these gets traction and takes off:

  • Accused campus killer Amy Bishop was white – just like Columbine High School shooters Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris.
  • Accused campus killer Amy Bishop was a woman – just like Mondays-hater Brenda Ann Spencer.
  • Accused campus killer Amy Bishop was known to frequent university campuses – just like frustrated misogynist Marc Lepine.
  • Accused campus killer Amy Bishop used a firearm – just like federal agent Lon Horiuchi.
  • Accused campus killer Amy Bishop was a research biologist – just like war criminal Josef Mengele.
  • Accused campus killer Amy Bishop was a vociferous leftist – just like Cuban torturer Che Guevara.
  • Accused campus killer Amy Bishop was married – just like Fascist supremo Benito Mussolini.

Look at all those warning signs!  How could we miss them?!

But while the astoundingly incompetent Laurel J. Sweet is busy evoking Clark’s Corollary to Heinlein’s Razor, it’s not too difficult to find some more meaningful events in Bishop’s background:

I’ve provided links to the first, second, and fourth stories for your convenience; the third link was in the original:

Yeah, who could’ve seen that one coming?  It turns out that Bishop has something in common with everyone I mentioned: she’s a murderous fucked-up bag of evil.

…but think of the carnage she could have caused if she’d been wearing a black trenchcoat!


1 Response to “Dumbworms are a hell of a drug”

  1. 1 aczarnowski
    February 19, 2010 at 12:45

    “I think we need stronger murder-control laws.”

    This particular instantiation of the sarcastic response to gun banners struck me as particularly well constructed. The rest of the post is also spot on.

    Who’s up for a viewing of Mazes and Monsters?

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