WHARRGARBL, the universe, and everything.
We begin with the news that PETA doesn’t like the idea of Seattle’s fishmongers tossing around the corpses of murdered sea-kit…
Oh, wait, no, hang on. Let me quote Lindsay Rajt, a PETA spokeswoman in Norfolk, Va:
“Fish feel pain and fear just like dogs and cats do and I don’t think the AVMA would dare take part in the dead kitten toss. Really, morally, there is no difference between throwing around dead kittens and throwing around dead fish.”
Now wait just a fucking minute. I thought we’d stopped saying the eff-word, and started calling them “sea kittens“.
(And if you’re going to make wild claims about vertebrate physiology, cite your fucking sources, will you?)
But wait: I have a special image for making fun of PETArds:
Go cry in a house fire, you bedwetting dipshits
While I’m on the subject of those irretrievably divorced from reality, I can’t fail to mention these dipshits: the New York Times!
- Parents pulling the plugs on Williamsburg trust-funders (New York Times)
Sorry, I got confused there. I guess it’s not the NYT I’m mocking here (at least not primarily), but the trust-fund hipsters:
Luis Illades, an owner of the Urban Rustic Market and Cafe on North 12th Street, said he had seen a steady number of applicants, in their late 20s, who had never held paid jobs: They were interns at a modeling agency, for example, or worked at a college radio station. In some cases, applicants have stormed out of the market after hearing the job requirements.
“They say, ‘You want me to work eight hours?’ ” Mr. Illades said. “There is a bubble bursting.”
Wait, I have a mocking image for that too:
Oh, I guess it was the same one. Dang.
Seriously, though, I can feel these people’s pain — like Bill Clinton, only without a secretary to suck my cock. (Damn the luck!) I was once a recent high-school grad supported by my parents. Only, well, I got a fucking job.
But surely we shouldn’t be feeling smug schadenfreude at the suffering of people whose independent existence teeters so precariously on the line between bare solvency and utter ruin, right? Like fuck we shouldn’t!
In the boom years, Mr. Weinstein said, 40 percent of the mortgage applications he reviewed for buyers in Williamsburg included down-payment money, from $50,000 to $300,000, from parents. About 20 percent of the applications listed investments that gave the young buyers $3,000 to $10,000 of monthly income.
The culture of the area often mocks residents who depend on their families. Misha Calvert, 26, a writer who relied on her parents during her first year in the city, now has three roommates, works in freelance jobs and organizes parties to help keep her afloat while she writes plays and acts in films. There is a “giant stigma,” she said, for Williamsburg residents who are not financially independent.
“It takes the wind out of you if you’re not the independent, self-reliant artist you claim to be,” she said, “if you’re just daddy’s little girl.”
Just a minute; I have a mocking image for that, too:
For full disclosure, I’m a grad student at a university that gets part of its funding from the provincial government — so I’m being decidedly hypocritical here, as I’m deriving my livelihood from funds stolen from taxpayers. I can’t realistically repay everyone who’s contributed to my education (willingly or otherwise), but I’m gonna try. (Totalrecoil, send me an email and I’ll send you a cheque.)
On to more pressing matters of finance. Y’all might recall the Troubled Asset Relief Program[me] imposed by the Bush 43 administration which sought to prevent banks which had proven that they deserved to fail from doing so, and made its attempt with taxpayers’ dollars. Well, it turns out that those banks aren’t so keen on sheltering under the big government TARP:
- U.S. banks can repay bailout cash (Globe and Mail)
Now, we’ve already discussed the notion of prepayment as an investment risk. But surely the whole point of government, rather than private sector, investment is that it isn’t subject to such fickle market forces but will do what’s right… isn’t it? Why did Citibank et al. have to fight so fucking hard to start repaying their debt to the taxpayers?
Well, national crises are useful to governments:
President Barack Obama cautioned against attaching too much significance to the TARP repayments, and said the country still faces a struggle to overcome the worst economic downturn in generations.“This is not a sign that our troubles are over; far from it,” he said. “The financial crisis this administration inherited is still creating painful challenges for businesses and families alike. But it is a positive sign.”
(See also “omgonoz.gif”, above.)
While I’m on the subject of government models, here’s a curious conclusion:
“We have not actually broken through the worst-case scenario, but let’s face it, the numbers are bad and they’re heading in the wrong direction,” Elizabeth Warren, a Harvard professor who heads the five-member panel, told a congressional committee.
But alas (again!) for Ms. Warren, the numbers appear to have broken through the worst-case scenario:
Whoops. Good thing we spent all that money bailing out banks that were desperate to fail, isn’t it?
So the banks can’t find useful ways to spend the money tossed at them by oblivious feds, and unemployment’s rising as a consequence of the fact that simply throwing money at an economy like a “Keynesian” who’s never bothered to read Keynes doesn’t work. I’m shocked. Shocked is what I am.
Finally, we examine this curious piece of the facepalmingly obvious as reported by Coyote Blog:
- New ownership buys San Diego Union-Tribune, apparently the city’s largest newspaper
- The new ownership group is funded in part by investments from public pension funds
- Public officials argue that since the paper is owned in part with some of their money, the newspaper should no longer be allowed to criticize public officials
That’s the sort of thing that would make Captain Louis Renault sputter in mute indignation, then reach for his sidearm. Even in California police Captains are permitted to carry sidearms, right?
Commenter “GW” notes that:
[W]hen the taxpayers pay your salary, you are not the “owner” of a subsidized newspaper.