11
Mar
09

Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 34

Secret message to my students: I know you’re all precious and unique little snowflakes, but please confine your creativity to things that (a) aren’t directly contraindicated by the assignment spec and (b) don’t triple the amount of effort I have to spend to mark said assignments.  Seriously — knock it fucking off.

——

Pride of place goes to one particular image.  It’s been going around the internet, but it’s not just stupid — it’s SOFA KING stupid — so I just have to give it a few kicks:

meat-is-cloned(Hat tip: Brigid and the Atomic Nerds)

We can argue for a while about the ethics of raising and killing farm animals for food when it’s at least partly possible to obtain most of a half-assed healthy diet from vegetable sources (though it’s not quite as easy as most vegans would have you believe), but this takes the art of shrill idiocy to a whole ‘nother level.  I’m reminded of The Pollyanna’s Mantra — which kicks off with “Meat comes to me in shrink-wrapped packages” and follows up with “Vegetables have no dirt on them. They are always crisp and shiny” — but this goes so far beyond that level of complacent ignorance as nearly to beggar belief.

“You ought to go to the store and buy the meat that was made there, where no animals were harmed.”

Whoever wrote that is safe — at least from me — if we ever crash-land in the Andes.  I’m not risking that strain of dumbworm infestation.

——

Let’s keep the image thing going:

recovery-dot-org
(Hat tip: Below the Beltway)

Finally — something that outdoes the hammer and sickle!

We have the whole “farmers and workers” thing — oh, no, wait; no we don’t.  See, at least Lenin et al. had some balls about the Communist logo thing.  The hammer and sickle represented factory workers and farm workers — they were implements that people used to make stuff.  Thus, they represented the people — the workers of the world being urged to unite.

Now we’re reduced to the abstracted iconography of generic products that might come to be made by… uh, by… human resources.  The icons represent the products.  The people are utterly absent, particularly to the sort of Soylent Green on the hoof (see above) that regards supermarkets as factories.

Inspifuckingrational.

——

Next, we come to Britain.  I thought this might be upping the ante, but based on that first image I’m no longer certain:

On four occasions since the start of term, youngster River Baker has walked out of school grounds during break time to explore the outside world.  Each time he has apparently been spotted by the supervising member of staff.  But instead of grabbing or running after him to bring him back, the teacher has ‘tracked’ the youngster on foot to ensure he comes to no harm and rung the police so officers can stop him.

On one occasion River and another boy of similar age were followed as they walked near a busy main road and five police vehicles turned up to pick them up, she claimed.

Some of you might be shrugging cynically.  Don’t.  The “health and safety risk” is not perceived to be to the child, but — at least in part — to the teachers.

Miss Baker, a single mother-of-three, said she was told due to policy staff were not allowed to grab him.

‘I was on a driving lesson when I got a call  telling me that they had picked him up from woods at the back of his school.  They told me they had followed him and rung the police. When I questioned them about it they just said “do you know how fast a four-year-old can run?”‘

I wonder what the ‘G’ in ‘GB‘ stands for now that they’ve excised “Great”.

——

I’ve written plenty of Misanthropies where I spend most of my time picking on the Brits.  Let’s try to get things a bit closer to parity.

I love that headline.  So.  Much.

Montgomery County police say 16 people were arrested after a fight broke out during a concert held to promote nonviolence and to remember a Silver Spring teen killed last year.

[…]

Police say fighting broke out near the stage toward the end of the concert and at least one person resisted arrest. Police say 16 adults and juveniles were arrested for offenses such as assault and disorderly conduct.

Hey — maybe they can get jobs at the supermarkets that sell meat from unharmed animals!


2 Responses to “Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 34”


  1. 1 kbiel
    March 12, 2009 at 10:39

    G could stand for Grabastic.

  2. March 18, 2009 at 12:48

    “Soylent Green on the hoof” has to be the funniest thing I’ve read for quite some time. Well done!


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