What started out as a clever title for a Wednesday post is turning into a regular series where I pick out a few bite-sized pieces of imbecility from the past week and skewer them on a rhetorical stake.

  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 1:
    • Abysmal reporting on a shooting in Burnaby
    • RCMP abuse of a questionable database
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 2:
    • Ill-informed hysteria against the Large Hadron Collider (with dragons!)
    • The continued failure of surveillance systems to prevent crime
    • Senator Clinton’s self-indulgence
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 3:
    • Surrey RCMP fear noises that sound like they might be shotguns
    • “Cigarette control” works about as well as you’d expect
    • Bureaucratic masturbation over CBC Radio Two
    • Dubya gives up golf to honour vets’ sacrifices
    • Bill O’Reilly completely loses his shit: dance remix
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 4:
    • “Christian activists” mistake Starbucks mermaid for porn star
    • Brits blame fat people for, well, everything
    • British surveillance state expands ever further
    • Airlines profit from government encroachment
    • Pat Buchanan blames Poles for WWII, Holocaust
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 5:
    • Pants-shitting hysteria over pocket-knife at YVR
    • Brit “safety experts” axe 150-year-old tree
    • Brit “safety experts” (different ones) demand lifeguards for inflatable kiddie pool
    • Hippie-on-hippie shooting in Seattle
    • Geraldine Ferraro does her level best to destroy the Democratic party
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 6:
    • D.C. police do Gestapo impression
    • Ontario and Quebec dominate Canadian politics; film at eleven
    • Zimbabwe dollar falls off the bottom of logarithmic scale
    • Transformers t-shirt seen as terrorism risk
    • Footballer censured in Britain for not kowtowing to authority
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 7:
    • Vancouver’s money-soaked transit system can’t afford more capacity
    • Plods assault man for falling off of sofa
    • Aussie kids incapable of high-school English classes
    • Lysenko disciple in Britain dismisses science, history as “middle-class creations”
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 8:
    • Texas GOP rep frightened of bare-breasted statuary
    • House Democrats bend over on Iraq funding
    • Barrie school board uses psychic sex detective
    • PRC teaches children state-approved method of celebration
    • Texas GOP vendor enthusiastically endorses “racist hick” stereotype
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 9:
    • Lake Delton residents find that property doesn’t have to exist to be taxed
    • Toronto mayor compares haunted firearms to toothpaste
    • PRC bans liquids from swimming pools
    • Brit cops compel DNA sample from man toting MP3 player
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 10:
    • Canadian government second-guesses Canadian industry
    • Liquor suspicions in Victoria trump Charter of Rights and Freedoms
    • Glancing knowledge of cosmology considered racist in Dallas County
    • It’s official: 110th Congress is the worst ever
    • Iran imports American bull semen
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 11:
    • Satire joins polar bears on endangered-species list
    • Ontario Ministry of Agriculture needs more admin funding for health, safety cutbacks
    • British cops must respond to emergencies within three hours
    • Harry Reid shames his family once again
    • Clintons averse to paying their own campaign debts
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 12:
    • Georgia plays Austria-Hungary, South Ossetia plays Serbia, Russia plays… Russia
    • No you can’t has property rights in California. Not yours.
    • PETA jumps on the border fence bandwagon
    • European Union indulges Big Brother fantasies
    • Ann Coulter loses it (sigh… yes, again)
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 13:
    • If you aren’t an Olympic swimmer, you probably shouldn’t eat like one
    • Pickles molesting onions
    • Balaclavas considered tools of terror
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 14:
    • Bike lanes are killing Mother Gaea!!!11oneoneeleven
    • Nancy Pelosi: 0, Science: 1
    • Zimbabwe’s opposition politicians have big brass ones that go clickety-clack when they walk
    • Essex family forced out of home by scawwy arachnid
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 15:
    • Cops don’t abuse authority, Tasers abuse authority
    • RCMP investigates itself, decides not to press charges
    • Stalin wasn’t such a bad guy after all, Russian schools claim
    • Mother kicked out of office for shutting baby up
    • France surrenders
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 16:
    • LHC goes live, fails to produce quantum dragons
    • Tommy Atkins re-enlists in Surrey
    • British MoD keeping its memory sticks secure by hiding them in nightclubs
    • Canadian election tries its best to get interesting
    • BC Liberals to skip work ’til February
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 17:
    • Canadian arts industry makes $86B, but will die screaming without gov’t aid
    • “Brainstorm”, “immigrant” declared offensive
    • Texas: keeping you safe by turning off your fire hydrants
    • Police told off for investigating crimes
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 18:
    • Tax breaks on wooden toys persuade Senate to pass $700,000,000,000 bailout
    • Plods confiscate, lose pensioner’s cane as “offensive weapon”
    • Strine students suck
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 19:
    • Dead German poet stubbornly refuses to pay for state services
    • British gardener penalized for securing the plot he’s responsible for securing
    • Maryland cops locally repeal First Amendment
    • Surrey vice principal punishes rape victim, councilcritter welcomes him back after suspension
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 20:
    • British council “group of people” bans Latin words
    • Another British “Airstrip One” council bans word ‘British’
    • Darwin magpie hunter charged after nearly removing self from gene pool
    • Chavez pledges to protect Venezuelan people from democracy
    • Starbucks profits fall as theft imperils bull semen supply
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 21:
    • Brits don’t trust their coast guard with flares; matches next
    • American Family Association markets burning-cross Christmas decoration
    • Chavez uses domestic espionage programme for pathetic campaign ads
    • Brit loses passwords to entire nation’s tax repository outside a pub
    • Canadian gov’t develops body-composition metric even more useless than BMI
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 22:
    • Carleton University Students’ Association decries cystic fibrosis as racist, sexist
    • PA bus drivers’ union decries homicidal driver’s firing
    • Plods underreport violent crime by 22%, have been doing so for “a long time”
    • Ontario “plans” to make restraining orders less useless
    • Ontario (again) to make symbolic budget cuts during actual downturn
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 23:
    • Vancouver increases security at secure SkyTrain stations to appease grass-eaters
    • Canadian do-not-call list really more of a number-farming ploy
    • Pope complains that cell phones destroy spirituality, txts spiritual msgs to followers
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 24:
    • Granny’s got a gun in Dorchester
    • Aussie police may call in security guards to protect stations from arson
    • Capitol Visitor Center late and over-budget above and beyond GAO’s pessimistic predictions
    • Rangel shows would-be corrupt Congresscumbags how it’s done in the big leagues
    • NHS sacrifices babies to treat seniors
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 25:
    • Man threatened by police for clearing his neighbours’ driveways
    • Caring People demonstrate their care by forcing thrift stores to stop selling kids’ clothes
    • Australia to ban or tax cooking oil as too fatty
    • Colour pink capable of mind control, Brit claims
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 26:
    • “Universal” health care: you’re doing it wrong
    • Getting drunk is illegal in Ontario
    • Texas lawmaker vows to continue $6M steroid-testing programme after it determines that steroid use isn’t a problem
    • California axes Medi-Cal benefits to free up funding for state Avocado Commission’s haute couture “uniforms” and private home renovations
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 27:
    • A hopeful sign of change in the Oval Office
    • Unregulated billboards would lead to porn everywhere: Clearwater municipal government
    • Kiddie porn law sends kids to prison to protect them from themselves
    • Eric Massa needs two SUVs and two fuel-cell cars to get from NY to DC; Felipe denies any relation and suggests KERS instead
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 28:
    • Change you can believe in: get paid to do volunteer work
    • Renaming streets drives away gangs, apparently
    • Beware the menace of silent camera phones
    • When body armour is banned, only criminals will have body armour
    • B.C. plods issue tickets to ID theft victims, don’t bother checking ID unless you’re in a bar
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 29:
    • TARP recipients can’t simply do as they please with our their money
    • Pelosi: five-thirds of Americans will lose their jobs if stimulus doesn’t pass
    • 38-year-old funding provision somehow makes stimulus bill “anti-Christian”
    • Fitzgerald and football don’t mix, claim sportswriters
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 30:
    • Ex-UN MechE tries to overrule the laws of thermodynamics
    • If no-one can read your ID card, is it still a privacy violation?
    • PRC clamps down on the bourgeois smut of Michelangelo, Titian
    • Those who can neither do nor teach end up governing doers and teachers
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 31:
    • Britain tries to print its way out of economic trouble
    • Britons discover what happens when you try to print your way out of economic trouble
    • NYT printing its way into economic trouble
    • Snowflakes discover that effort does not equal achievement
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 32:
    • Government “experts” turn out to be lobbyists; film at eleven
    • Clearwater FL still can’t figure out the First Amendment
    • NYU students fail dismally to start a revolution
    • Biggest problem with No Child Left Behind?  Its brand image, apparently
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 33:
    • Targeted gang hits based on (allegedly) leaked Revenue Canada data
    • Utah on alcohol: “If I can’t see it, it’s not there”
    • Chavez stumbles over microeconomics, picks himself up and hurries off
    • Obama to prevent rich people from paying their fair share… by choice, at least
    • GM sales down 52.9%; industry pundits puzzled that they had any room to fall
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 34:
    • Meat from stores doesn’t harm animals…?
    • recovery.gov logo out-Lenins Lenin
    • Brit teachers must be protected from the perils of chasing agile four-year-olds
    • “16 arrested in fight at nonviolence concert”
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 35:
    • B.C. Supreme Court ponders banning Goooooogle
    • Clinton throws PRC human rights under the bus
    • Kids’ games turn adults into pederasts
    • Term “animal husbandry” confuses FL state senator, with predictable results
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 36:
    • Earth Hour nonsense impedes environmental research
    • California cracks down on blacks
    • California takes Earth Hour nonsense even further
    • Zimbabwe expresses confidence in U.S. dollar
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 37:
    • HHS regulators taking notes from the SEC
    • Saskatoon ER calls ambulance to treat patient found on hospital grounds
    • Nanny state doesn’t trust firefighters to climb ladders
    • WI state gov’t hates nuts as much as it hates fruits
    • Some guns are wheel locks, but not all wheel locks are guns
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 38:
    • WHO can’t decide whether swine flu is apocalyptic or innocuous
    • Shiny piece of metal counts as “law enforcement ID” to TSA
    • Aussies let 173 people die because sounding alarms might desensitize them
    • Oxford librarians discover that nanny state + traditionalism = weaponized stupid
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 39:
    • Woman detained by cop for obeying the law
    • Great sex illegal in Great Britain
    • MLAs rewarded for sucking; Bill Clinton unavailable for comment
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 40:
    • Wally Oppal loses election he tried to rig
    • GovGen snacks on raw seal heart
    • CBC, TransLink shocked (shocked!) that folks who don’t value their widgets try to sell them
    • “Auto bailout costs soar.”  YA RLY.
    • gc.ca bails out unions, not those paying for bailout
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 41:
    • “$1,400,000 for every job saved”
    • Ben Bernake needs to suck off a revolver
    • “GMO foods banned as nation starves”
    • Sand causes cancer, claims government
    • Brits make parking “fairer” by manufacturing offences
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 42:
    • PETA gives up on “sea-kitten” bullshit
    • “You want me to work for eight hours?!
    • DC graciously allows Wall Street to repay loans forced upon them at gunpoint
    • Gov’t bails out newspaper; gov’t exercises editorial control; lefties shocked and dismayed
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 43:
    • Device designed to rend flesh declared “ineffective as a weapon”
    • Paul Krugman responsible for housing bubble
    • BC NDP figures out why it lost the election, months after voters told them why they lost the election
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 44:
    • Hard-Left California town posts best argument yet for Vermont-style carry laws
    • Cop hits woman with Taser mostly just because he felt like it
    • Canuck BAWWWWWs to court; court forces Google to rescind privacy agreement
    • Canada turns away European refugees: this is not a repeat of 1939
    • Dissolve the CRTC!
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 45:
    • o/~ Ding, dong, The Swimmer’s dead; the fat drunk lech is dead! o/~
    • Cash for Clunkers: adios, motherfucker!
    • Jesse Jackson Jr. fails ECON 101
    • BC gov’t paves over protected wetland to protect the environment
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 46:
    • Liberals push for fall electoral defeat
    • Harper unclear on concept of “parliamentary government”
    • Charlie Rangel, tax committee member, opts out of paying taxes
    • Hybrids not so fuckin’ sustainable
    • Teddy K. pwned by Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 47:
    • My union is fucking retarded
    • Thomas Friedman prefers “one-party democracy” to lack of contradiction; masturbation vs. sex next on list of editorial topics
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 48:
    • Aussies turn away Asian refugees for their own good
    • Obama extends USA PATRIOT Act provisions; 150,000,000 leftist heads fail to explode
    • Obama educates me on health care reform
    • Dubya signed TARP without understanding it in the slightest; is surprised by having done so
    • Obama wants Jimmy Carter to die in a fire
  • Mid-week misanthropy, vol. 49:
    • CRA agents are thieving weasels.  No, from the government this time.
    • BC law enforcement realizes that investigating themselves lacks credibility
    • Even after losing his job, Wally Oppal is still getting pwned
    • Orly Taitz: 0; Google AdSense: 1


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