“Nanny state” taken a bit too literally

Thus:

• A-grade pupil banned from dance (The Beeb)

In the spirit of egalitarianism, everyone must attend “extra study” sessions, whether they need the extra study or not.

School chief executive Eamonn Farrar said the extra study sessions were made compulsory five years ago.

He said: “If we were to give the children the choice of attending the extra study sessions, what do you think the response would be? They wouldn’t attend.”

They won’t attend? Not a problem. If the little darlings want to throw away an opportunity (which they may or may not need)… let them.

A ringing endorsement

What’s this, now?

• Prince George hospital ‘pretty safe’ despite attack (CBC), a followup to:
• Doctor attacked in Prince George hospital (CBC)

Never mind that some random goblin could walk in and mug a doctor unimpeded, the hospital is apparently “pretty safe”.

How safe is safe?

Hospital spokesman Mike Hickey said images from some of the facility’s 87 security cameras helped police identify a suspect, who is now in custody.

Hickey called the weekend attack “highly unusual” and said the hospital is “pretty safe” for people working there.

Eighty-seven cameras. Wow — that’s pretty fucking safe! Everyone knows that surveillance cameras stop violent crime:

• Magic law-enforcing cameras in Vancouver (shameless plug)

Surveillance cameras can even make people behave themselves:

• “Anti-social behaviour is a priority” (shameless plug)

(How do they do it? Mind control!)

So what went wrong here? Why did these eighty-seven cameras fail this poor doctor? Probably a minor bug in the technology — like the fact that a ceiling-mounted camera cannot stop a man from pulling a bag over your head and beating your face to pulp. I’m sure they’ll fix that in the next product version.

(But hey, at least they caught the guy! I’m sure that makes everyone feel better.)

As much as we’d like to pretend otherwise, the only one who can keep you safe is you. All the surveillance cameras in the world won’t stop a determined assailant (or, for that matter, an inattentive driver), and all the cops and security guards in the building won’t do you any good if they’re somewhere else while you’re being attacked. When we try to substitute feel-good fairy tales (“Look, we have cameras now, we’re all safe!”) for personal responsibility, bad things happen.

Kurt Vonnegut has died

I thought the world felt a little less intelligent than usual.

• Kurt Vonnegut, Writer of Classics of the American Counterculture, Dies at 84

So it goes.  sigh

Don’t go on a diet

I take issue with the “quick-fix” notion of dieting to lose weight, and so do some people at UCLA:

• Scientists Say Dieting Does Not Work (Medical News Daily)

The shocking news: people who go on a diet lose weight (what kind?  Never mind) in the short term, but tend to gain it all back — and more! — “after” the diet.

Several studies indicate that dieting is actually a consistent predictor of future weight gain.

I don’t understand the idea of “after” a diet.  Your diet is what you eat.  If your diet is high in useless crap, you’ll (probably) lose muscle and gain fat.  If your diet approaches optimal for your metabolism and lifestyle, you’ll (probably) be fit, healthy, and look good nekkid.

Here’s the problem.  People look at diets as painful things with permanent consequences.  Sure, you put on twenty pounds eating hamburgers and hot wings, but if you limit yourself to fruit smoothies for three weeks you’ll lose that fat and get all sexy-lookin’, so you can go back to your burgers and wings and be the hottest boy in the bar.

Shit, that twenty pounds is back, and it brought friends!  Where’d that come from?

From the burgers and wings!

Here’s the funny thing: your fitness level is a product of your lifestyle.  Suppose you “go on a diet” — you change your lifestyle.  You get fit.  Then you “go off the diet” — it’s a six-week diet, it’s over, right?  You revert to your previous lifestyle.  You get unfit.  Are we surprised?

Rather than take on a drastic, short-term diet and expect it to last forever, make small, sustainable changes to your lifestyle.  Get a little bit more exercise, keep it up for a month or two, then get a little bit more.  Cut your Coke consumption in half, then halve it again after a month or two.  Make those changes permanent.  You’ll get better results.

“Anti-social behaviour is a priority”

Damn those five-year-olds and their hopscotch graffiti:

• Police order boy, 5, to stop chalking hopscotch ‘graffiti’ on the street (Daily Mail)

An uncharitable observer might suspect that the cops in question wanted to put the Fear of The State into this poor kid — and they probably succeeded. After all, if your government’s willing to break out the handcuffs because you’re chalking up the sidewalk, just imagine how far they’d go if you were to actually break the law!

Note the doublespeak from the police spokesweasel:

“Officers attended because anti-social behaviour is a priority.”

“Anti-social” behaviour. Not criminal behaviour, not felonious behaviour, not even dangerous behaviour — anti-social. Where have I seen that before?

• ‘Talking’ CCTV scolds offenders (The Beeb)

What’s this all about?

“Talking” CCTV cameras that tell off people dropping litter or committing anti-social behaviour are to be extended to 20 areas across England.

(If you scroll to the bottom of that article, you get a little vignette showing a terribly anti-social man leaving an empty can on a park bench, and being told off by the State’s unblinking eye. Thank goodness!)

You see, now that violent crime has been completely eradicated in the United Kingdom, the authorities have the time and resources to address matters of courtesy.

Woman fights off attacker, CBC calls her “victim”

So this is awesome:

• 2 Vancouver women attacked in separate incidents (cbc.ca)

No, that’s not what’s awesome.  This is:

Around 2 a.m. local time, on the 1600 block of East 5th Avenue, a man grabbed a woman and tried to pull her to the ground, police said. She punched the man and ran home to call police.

Judging by the headline, you’d never expect that one of the supposed victims kicked her attacker’s ass, would you?  I guess that doesn’t sell banner ads, or something.  (Huzzah, CBC!  That’ll keep those pesky women frightened and in-line.)

I want an iPod, too

Should I move to Michigan, then?

• Is this a function of government? (The Liberty Papers)

I have nothing to add.

There must be something in the air

Looks like the notion of state-enforced healthy living is gaining ground Down South as well:

• The Agents of Crisis (LewRockwell.com)

Amusingly:

The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation’s new initiative will build on successful programs, such as Arkansas’ trendsetting efforts that included sending home obesity report cards to warn parents of overweight kids’ health risks.

“Obesity report cards”?  I can’t mock that — it satirizes itself.

At least this time the grass-eaters aren’t spending my tax dollars to tell parents that their fat kids are, in fact, fat.  (Sorry, Arkansas.  Better luck next election.)