Well, so much for optimism.

Before we mire ourselves in the Story of the Day, let’s at least pay attention to the local atrocities:

• B.C. synagogue targeted with nazi symbol, obscenities (CBC)

Now that there is fucking classy.

Calling the incident “disturbing and unacceptable,” Supt. Ward Clapham, the RCMP officer in command of the Richmond detachment, said it was an “extremely serious criminal act.”

That’s nice. It seems like every local atrocity gets the “extremely serious” treatment. Let’s check a different act of horrifying violence:

• Woman beaten at Vancouver SkyTrain station (CBC)

Is this one “extremely serious”?

“This was a cowardly attack against a 56-year-old female, and I’ve instructed my detectives to pull out all stops in order to capture the suspects responsible for this attack,” said Vancouver police Insp. Tom McCluskie of the Major Crime Unit.

Pretty much, yeah. Once again, though, we discover that those goddamn security cameras have been lax in their duties:

Police say they hope to get some clues about the two attackers from surveillance cameras at the SkyTrain station.

So there were surveillance cameras present that did not protect this poor woman? How dare they shirk their duties! Fuckin’ cameras. If only they’d prevent crime, like they’re supposed to, nobody would get assaulted at SkyTrain stations! Damn slacker cameras.

And now, while I’m on the subject of assaults upon human decency, let’s have a look at the Virginia Tech shootings.

Well, score another victory for gun control:

• Gun bill gets shot down by panel (Roankoke.com)

Hmm. So, VA Tech recently forbid its students and staff from carrying (legally or otherwise) on campus. That worked well! (Maybe they didn’t have enough cameras at VA Tech.)

Lest we forget that there are religious — you know, I’m at a loss for invective here; I can’t think of a sufficiently offensive term — out there, we have the ever-beloved Westboro Baptist Church vomiting forth their invective:

• Sick Pricks to Protest VT Funerals (The Liberty Papers)

Where’s Simo Hayha when you need him? Counter-protesting these wastes of skin with a Mosin-Nagant seems like a good idea to me.

Finally, there seems to be some bitching back and forth about whether some of the students at VT should have defended themselves, or their classmates:

• Our Domestic 101st Fighting Keyboarders (dailykos.com)

Three cheers for generalizations! I’m not really sure what’s being argued here. It seems to me that some people think the VT students should have made more of an effort to stop themselves and their compatriots from getting shot, and that others think that nobody should be obliged to risk his or her life for a random stranger.

Both of these points have merit.

On the one hand, I’m not about to risk my life for a bunch of people who don’t give two shits about me, and about whom I give no shits at all. On the other hand, I’d give my life for my loved ones without a second thought, and if I’m threatened, I’ll do whatever it takes to get home with the same number of holes with which I left. I can’t imagine risking my life for that asshole in the back row who plays his iPod too goddamn loud all class, but at the same time I can’t imagine placidly waiting to get shot.

I imagine, though, that most of the students at Virginia Tech never imagined that someone would ever want to shoot at them, and had to make that decision in an instant, on the spot. I can’t blame them for not being able to decide instantly whether or not to resist.

With what wonders shall the universe grace us tomorrow? I can’t fucking wait.